Happy Thanksgiving ...
gobble, gobble, gobble!
We have so much to be thankful for this year ... our beautiful family being at the top of the list. I know I've said this before, but we feel so incredibly blessed to have found Nika ... and to have been given the opportunity to add her to our family. We are also so incredibly blessed to have all of you in our life, because without the support of all of you, we would not be where we are today.
And ... today happens to be my wedding anniversary! Nine years ago I married the love of my life ... my soul, my rock. For him, I am VERY thankful. Love you babe {he is a blog lurker just like many of you ... maybe I can bring him out of hiding sometime soon ... haha}.
Nika is adjusting beautifully ... the standoffish behavior toward her siblings has pretty much disappeared. She stills needs to take her own little time outs every once in awhile, but good grief, who wouldn't need to after being around her overzealous siblings? We are also still trying to find a balance between the girls ... they are both a bit high-maintenance, for lack of a better word. ;)
Pictures and video to come ...
Showing posts with label international adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label international adoption. Show all posts
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
"Throw the ball to brat!"
Tonight Mason was playing ball with Nika ... she was scooting really close to him, it was pretty cute. We have taught Mason a few words in Russian ... "brat" being one of them ... that means "brother". So when they were playing ball, he kept saying, "Throw the ball to brat!"
Chicky saw me get the camera out to take pictures of Mason and Nika, so of course she had to get in the mix. I think they decided on a cheesy shot ...
Nika is definitely getting more and more used to the idea of having siblings around. She no longer pushes them away and sometimes even initiates contact with them. Our biggest hurdle at this point is diffusing the jealousy between Payton and Nika ... if one is being held, the other needs to be held by that same person. Hopefully as the novelty continues to wear off, the jealously will too. ;)
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Day Three
Things are progressing nicely ... Addison is getting used to the thought of having a brother and a sister. :) I think letting her observe them playing within the same room has eased her comfort level with them. I even caught her smiling and waving at them today ... huge progress!
Payton continues to think that Addison is her little baby doll ... I know, you are probably thinking, "No wonder Addison is overwhelmed!" LOL. When we first got home, Payton wanted to get Addison dressed. Yesterday, I was telling Payton to say goodnight to Addison before I took her up for nap. Payton had a baby wipe in her hand and proceeded to wipe Addison's face and hands ... I guess she thought they were dirty. Addison's two fingers that she sucks are a mess and she has a perma-dent on her one finger from her tooth. Payton saw the dent and got sad that Addison had a boo-boo. So cute. BTW ... anyone have any ideas as to how to heal chapped little fingers that get vigorously sucked on? Sigh. I put vaseline on them today, but I'm not sure if there is a better alternative.
Mason continues to be the endearing big brother, although I think he has backed off a little since he continued to get a negative reaction from Addison. :( He is bound and determined to get Addison to walk ... it is so cute.
Gross Motor Skills
When we were at the baby home in Russia, we noticed that there were no stairs to give Addison the opportunity to learn how to walk up and down them. Her entire grouppa area was one level and if they ever went outside, they took the elevator. I had tried to get Addison to use the stairs on some playground equipment, and she seemed to have no idea what I was trying to do. That led me to believe we had some work to do on stairs.
Fast forward to bringing her home ... we walk up and down stairs in our house every day, several times a day. From the get go, Addison has been climbing the stairs ... she can get a little unsteady, but she does great. Today, I was able to get her to step up 8-10 stairs with two hands assisted ... holy smokes, she surprised me!
Speech and language development
Well, she definitely is saying "dada" ... and I am pretty sure she is associating "dada" with Kyle. I was holding her at one point today when he walked by and she said "dada". She is also doing well with repeating B's ... like "ball". I'm not sure that I've heard her say any M sounds yet ... hence the lack of "mama". Haha ... grrrr.
As a way to entertain Nika in the hotel and on the airplane, I started singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider to her, and showing her the hand motions. This little Russian princess is so smart ... it doesn't matter that she doesn't speak English, because she understands! I was doing it with her again tonight and she made the hand motions for when the spider crawls up the water spout and for when the spider gets washed out. Are you singing the song in your head now to figure out which motions I'm talking about? LOL. Anyway, I was super impressed that she has picked up the hand motions so quickly ... in English, nonetheless!
Bonding
Nika definitely likes to be held and I'm not sure that Payton is too hip on this, but we make it work. At first, I wasn't sure we should hold her so much for fear that she will never want to be put down ... but, I also realize that this is part of her attachment process, so we are trying to find a happy medium. Today Nika has been quite attached to Kyle ... I guess she got mad at me for cleaning her little nose out. Sigh ... I can't win. LOL.
Payton continues to think that Addison is her little baby doll ... I know, you are probably thinking, "No wonder Addison is overwhelmed!" LOL. When we first got home, Payton wanted to get Addison dressed. Yesterday, I was telling Payton to say goodnight to Addison before I took her up for nap. Payton had a baby wipe in her hand and proceeded to wipe Addison's face and hands ... I guess she thought they were dirty. Addison's two fingers that she sucks are a mess and she has a perma-dent on her one finger from her tooth. Payton saw the dent and got sad that Addison had a boo-boo. So cute. BTW ... anyone have any ideas as to how to heal chapped little fingers that get vigorously sucked on? Sigh. I put vaseline on them today, but I'm not sure if there is a better alternative.
Mason continues to be the endearing big brother, although I think he has backed off a little since he continued to get a negative reaction from Addison. :( He is bound and determined to get Addison to walk ... it is so cute.
Gross Motor Skills
When we were at the baby home in Russia, we noticed that there were no stairs to give Addison the opportunity to learn how to walk up and down them. Her entire grouppa area was one level and if they ever went outside, they took the elevator. I had tried to get Addison to use the stairs on some playground equipment, and she seemed to have no idea what I was trying to do. That led me to believe we had some work to do on stairs.
Fast forward to bringing her home ... we walk up and down stairs in our house every day, several times a day. From the get go, Addison has been climbing the stairs ... she can get a little unsteady, but she does great. Today, I was able to get her to step up 8-10 stairs with two hands assisted ... holy smokes, she surprised me!
Speech and language development
Well, she definitely is saying "dada" ... and I am pretty sure she is associating "dada" with Kyle. I was holding her at one point today when he walked by and she said "dada". She is also doing well with repeating B's ... like "ball". I'm not sure that I've heard her say any M sounds yet ... hence the lack of "mama". Haha ... grrrr.
As a way to entertain Nika in the hotel and on the airplane, I started singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider to her, and showing her the hand motions. This little Russian princess is so smart ... it doesn't matter that she doesn't speak English, because she understands! I was doing it with her again tonight and she made the hand motions for when the spider crawls up the water spout and for when the spider gets washed out. Are you singing the song in your head now to figure out which motions I'm talking about? LOL. Anyway, I was super impressed that she has picked up the hand motions so quickly ... in English, nonetheless!
Bonding
Nika definitely likes to be held and I'm not sure that Payton is too hip on this, but we make it work. At first, I wasn't sure we should hold her so much for fear that she will never want to be put down ... but, I also realize that this is part of her attachment process, so we are trying to find a happy medium. Today Nika has been quite attached to Kyle ... I guess she got mad at me for cleaning her little nose out. Sigh ... I can't win. LOL.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I didn't mean to scare anyone ...
I think I need to put a disclaimer out there and sort of respond to a comment that was made ... I didn't mean to scare anyone by posting about our adjustment. Don't worry, Addison is NOT going anywhere. If I came across as if to say that we wouldn't get through this, forgive me ... that was not my intention.
There are many, many adoption stories out there that only tell the bright, happy side of adoption ... and that is okay ... some people don't want to share their struggles. While our experience has been bright and happy for the most part, there are always going to be bumps in adoption ... I'm just trying to keep it real and make people aware of the things that adoptive families go through. What we are experiencing is very real and very common ... I've come to find this out. Knowing that this is "normal" adjustment and knowing I'm not alone ... well, it makes me feel better.
Addison is bonding and attaching to Kyle and I beautifully. Given that, I did not expect her to shy away from Mason and Payton. I do believe with all my heart that we will get past this, we just need to give Nika time. This is all very new to her ... nothing here is "normal" for her and understanding that is key. I can already see her opening up, but as with everything ... there are ups and there are downs.
I would like to share an article with you that sort of explains just exactly what Nika is going through. I hope this analogy makes everyone better understand what she is experiencing ...
Imagine for a moment…
You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.
The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.
The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.
But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.
But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?
Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.
You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.
Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.
More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?
You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.
The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.
You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.
The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.
Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.
He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.
You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.
People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.
Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.
Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.
There are many, many adoption stories out there that only tell the bright, happy side of adoption ... and that is okay ... some people don't want to share their struggles. While our experience has been bright and happy for the most part, there are always going to be bumps in adoption ... I'm just trying to keep it real and make people aware of the things that adoptive families go through. What we are experiencing is very real and very common ... I've come to find this out. Knowing that this is "normal" adjustment and knowing I'm not alone ... well, it makes me feel better.
Addison is bonding and attaching to Kyle and I beautifully. Given that, I did not expect her to shy away from Mason and Payton. I do believe with all my heart that we will get past this, we just need to give Nika time. This is all very new to her ... nothing here is "normal" for her and understanding that is key. I can already see her opening up, but as with everything ... there are ups and there are downs.
I would like to share an article with you that sort of explains just exactly what Nika is going through. I hope this analogy makes everyone better understand what she is experiencing ...
Imagine for a moment…
You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.
The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.
The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.
But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.
But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?
Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.
You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.
Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.
More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?
You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.
The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.
You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.
The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.
Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.
Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.
He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.
You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.
People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.
Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.
Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.
Day Two
Our biggest hurdle is definitely Nika's lack of desire to have contact with her brother and sister. But ... we are only two days into this and we are working hard on modeling affection. We had a rough morning ... Nika wanted to be held every minute and did not want her sister near her. Payton is having a hard time with that, but we are working on it ... it is hard to make Payton understand and I hate to see her cry when Nika pushes her away.
I dropped Mason and Payton off at school earlier this morning and now it is just Nika and I here at home. She is a different kid when it is just us here ... amazing! I was beginning to think she had regressed since we were in Russia, but clearly it all has to do with her siblings. Sigh.
Thank you to everyone who gave me advice ... I know you are probably rolling your eyes at me since we just got her home, but I really did not expect her to not want the kids to touch her, especially given the way she has attached to Kyle and I. Regardless, it definitely helps to know this is normal and that there are many others out there who have experienced this.
I dropped Mason and Payton off at school earlier this morning and now it is just Nika and I here at home. She is a different kid when it is just us here ... amazing! I was beginning to think she had regressed since we were in Russia, but clearly it all has to do with her siblings. Sigh.
Thank you to everyone who gave me advice ... I know you are probably rolling your eyes at me since we just got her home, but I really did not expect her to not want the kids to touch her, especially given the way she has attached to Kyle and I. Regardless, it definitely helps to know this is normal and that there are many others out there who have experienced this.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Transitions
Today has sort of been a rough day geting into the groove of things. I'm definitely anxious to get Nika on a schedule and I know this was a question that someone asked me in the Q&A. We went to bed last night around 8:30 p.m., which is 4:30 a.m. Russia time. Nika slept until about 6:00 a.m. (2:00 p.m. Russia time), which was better than I thought she would do. If any adoptive parents (or anyone else for that matter) have any good ideas on how to transition her into a sleep pattern, let me know. I'm pretty much winging it right now ... I'm not sure what else to do without totally screwing her up.
She has sort of been out of sorts today trying to take in her new environment. Our biggest hurdle seems to be getting her to accept affection from her brother and sister ... she is more tolerant of Mason, probably because he isn't completely in her face like Payton is. LOL. She does great when they are just playing and running around the house, but when it comes down to them touching her or trying to give her a kiss, she pushes them away ... and that really upsets Payton. So I'm looking for advice here too ... anyone else have a situation like this? How long did it take before the child got used to affection from other kids? Nika is a total cuddle bug and does fine with adults ... kids are the problem. I suppose she is used to fighting the other kids off at the baby home ... especially when it comes to toys or something like that.
We are working on playing closely with Nika and the other kids, so Nika can observe how we interact with the kids ... we are trying to model that behavior for her. So anyway, please let me know if you have any feedback. I know we are less than 24 hours into this, but it is very important for us to work on this. ;)
She has sort of been out of sorts today trying to take in her new environment. Our biggest hurdle seems to be getting her to accept affection from her brother and sister ... she is more tolerant of Mason, probably because he isn't completely in her face like Payton is. LOL. She does great when they are just playing and running around the house, but when it comes down to them touching her or trying to give her a kiss, she pushes them away ... and that really upsets Payton. So I'm looking for advice here too ... anyone else have a situation like this? How long did it take before the child got used to affection from other kids? Nika is a total cuddle bug and does fine with adults ... kids are the problem. I suppose she is used to fighting the other kids off at the baby home ... especially when it comes to toys or something like that.
We are working on playing closely with Nika and the other kids, so Nika can observe how we interact with the kids ... we are trying to model that behavior for her. So anyway, please let me know if you have any feedback. I know we are less than 24 hours into this, but it is very important for us to work on this. ;)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
We are home!
I know you are going to kill me for posting this with no pictures, but I just wanted to give a quick update and I don't have time for pictures right now ... I have three kids now, ya know! LOL.
Our flight was great and Addison did great ... all except for when they talked on the loud speaker on the airplane ... that scared her every time. Makes sense to me! She was so cute in the airport in Amsterdam ... just sitting in her stroller looking at all the people as we rushed through the airport. There were many times today that we wished we knew what she was thinking!
We were so lucky to be met by several friends and family (my mom, Kristie and Casey, The Karls family, The Ridings family, Tammy and Sherry) at the airport. Our kids also had on tshirts that said "big brother" and "big sister" in Russian on the front and in English on the back ... so cute! I hope they have some good pictures because I have NONE! The kids were so excited to see Addison ... they love her to pieces! Whoever was holding Addison at any particular moment in time had to also be holding Payton ... she wanted to be right by her the whole time. Mason told me that he loves Addison and he pushed her in the stroller when we left the airport.
Addison did very well in her car seat ... I was sort of nervous given her response to the car seat in St. Petersburg. Well she did just fine in our car ... she didn't cry at all. Payton cried, however, because she couldn't reach Addison while they were in their seats. LOL.
When we got home, the kids played with each other as if Addison has been here all along. They chased balloons around the house and Addison crawled all over ... I think she isn't quite sure what to do with all this space to roam free. I was also very nervous to see how she would react to Zoe (our dog). Ha ... she LOVES her and is totally intrigued by her. Addison has been chasing her all around the house ... under chairs, everywhere. It is so cute!
So that is my quick recap of how things are going so far ... much better than I could have ever dreamed! Pictures coming soon ... I promise!
Our flight was great and Addison did great ... all except for when they talked on the loud speaker on the airplane ... that scared her every time. Makes sense to me! She was so cute in the airport in Amsterdam ... just sitting in her stroller looking at all the people as we rushed through the airport. There were many times today that we wished we knew what she was thinking!
We were so lucky to be met by several friends and family (my mom, Kristie and Casey, The Karls family, The Ridings family, Tammy and Sherry) at the airport. Our kids also had on tshirts that said "big brother" and "big sister" in Russian on the front and in English on the back ... so cute! I hope they have some good pictures because I have NONE! The kids were so excited to see Addison ... they love her to pieces! Whoever was holding Addison at any particular moment in time had to also be holding Payton ... she wanted to be right by her the whole time. Mason told me that he loves Addison and he pushed her in the stroller when we left the airport.
Addison did very well in her car seat ... I was sort of nervous given her response to the car seat in St. Petersburg. Well she did just fine in our car ... she didn't cry at all. Payton cried, however, because she couldn't reach Addison while they were in their seats. LOL.
When we got home, the kids played with each other as if Addison has been here all along. They chased balloons around the house and Addison crawled all over ... I think she isn't quite sure what to do with all this space to roam free. I was also very nervous to see how she would react to Zoe (our dog). Ha ... she LOVES her and is totally intrigued by her. Addison has been chasing her all around the house ... under chairs, everywhere. It is so cute!
So that is my quick recap of how things are going so far ... much better than I could have ever dreamed! Pictures coming soon ... I promise!
Farewell Russia!
Well ... our journey in Russia is about to come to an end ... we will be leaving for the airport in a few minutes. It is bittersweet for us ... we are bringing our newest daughter home, but we have to leave everything she knows behind. Hopefully we will be back some day ... we would love to bring the kids to Russia when they are old enough to understand and appreciate it all ... that would put us about 15 years out. LOL. We are so thankful for this journey that we have been on and we are even more thankful for the incredible support that we have received from each and every one of you!
Next up ... the pictures you have been waiting for ... our homecoming!
Next up ... the pictures you have been waiting for ... our homecoming!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Self-feeding
In the baby home, they give the kids adult size silverware to use. It is quite comical to see these tiny kids using large soup spoons that are larger than their head. When we had a chance to watch Nika eat a meal in the baby home, she whipped that spoon around and somehow managed to get it in her mouth.
We have come to realization she has an obsession for silverware ... not only for silverware, but for holding her own silverware. She especially loves forks and she must always have a fork in hand when eating ... and she doesn't much like to eat her food without it being served to her on a fork. We have to help her stab her food most of the time and if we give her a second fork with food on it, then she immediately drops the other fork from her hand ... it is like clockwork. One of us has to be ready to catch fork #1 as she grabs fork #2.
Here she is maneuvering her fork at dinner tonight ... I'm impressed at how well she does with it ...
We have come to realization she has an obsession for silverware ... not only for silverware, but for holding her own silverware. She especially loves forks and she must always have a fork in hand when eating ... and she doesn't much like to eat her food without it being served to her on a fork. We have to help her stab her food most of the time and if we give her a second fork with food on it, then she immediately drops the other fork from her hand ... it is like clockwork. One of us has to be ready to catch fork #1 as she grabs fork #2.
Here she is maneuvering her fork at dinner tonight ... I'm impressed at how well she does with it ...
Question Time?
So prior to beginning my adoption journey, I followed several adoption blogs and I always had questions that I wanted to ask, but I thought it might be out of place to do so ... so I never did.
I'm wondering if anyone has any questions like that about our adoption, Down syndrome or anything else that I can answer? Anything {well most anything} is game ... just leave a comment on this blog post and feel free to do it anonymously if you like. :) C'mon ... don't be shy ... I know some of you want to know more! LOL.
Okay, here we go!
Okay, here's a pretty superficial one, but one I'm curious about regardless . . . We have court next week. Do I bring along some dress shoes, or can I wear my dress boots that I will have on for the weather?
I would say you would be fine with your dress boots (if they are leather ... which I assume they are since you called them DRESS boots), considering that is what EVERYONE here wears every day of the week. They wear dress boots with jeans, skirts, whatever. They told us that they preferred the women wear skirts to court, so maybe bring your dress boots with a modest skirt. Hope this helps!
Are you having/adopting more kids?
Although our hands are full for now, I do see us trying to have at least one more typical child. Who knows, Payton sort of changed our plans as far as kids are concerned. Before her, I would have been happy with just two kids. Now, I feel like the bigger the family, the better. I really would like Payton and Addison to grow up with lots of siblings that love them unconditionally ... big families are fun for everyone involved, right?!
Given your fertility "fun", was adoption ever a consideration before you had Mason and Payton?
You know me so well, Courtney! To fill everyone else in, yes ... we had problems getting pregnant with our biological kids. After three years of failure, we ending up conceiving through in vetro fertilization (IVF) with both of them. And yes, while we were trying to get pregnant, I thought about adoption a lot and I used to look at photo listings a lot ... so I think adoption has always been something that has been on my mind.
Do you truly feel just as connected to this GORGEOUS baby girl as you do to your other two amazing kids?
This is a really hard question ... and in fact it is the one thing that I think scares people when they adopt. You do wonder if you will love this child like you love your biological children ... although I wondered that during my second pregnancy too. I didn't know if I could love another child like I loved Mason, and of course we all know now that I love Payton so much my heart hurts!
We really do have an amazing connection with Addison and I think the fact that she is SO MUCH like Payton has a lot to do with it. I am totally in love with her ... is the depth of that love as deep as it is for my other two kids? I would say probably NOT YET, but it takes time to develop that depth of love and I know it will be the same for Addison. It is the same as a mother's love growing over time for her biological child ... the love you have for that child on the day he or she is born is not the same depth of love that you have for that child as time goes on and your bond becomes deeper. I actually can say that I am surprised at how deep the love we have for Addison is after only having spent a handful of days with her. She is already making us SO proud and we feel SO blessed to have found her.
When you adopt a child, the momma bear sort of takes over. Here you are given this child that has no family, no mommy or daddy that wants her, no siblings to play with. Being able to give that to a child is an amazing feeling ... and I think the bond that comes with that is amazing. I would do anything for Addison that I would do for my other two kids and I believe she will mesh perfectly into our family. ;-)
I don't know how many rooms you have in your house, but how are the kids rooms set up? The girls together, then mason, or every man for himself?
We have four bedrooms upstairs, one of which is a "guest suite" with a sitting area and its own full bathroom. Mason will be moving into that room ... we figured he is the oldest and the only boy at this point, so he wins. The girls will each get their own bedroom and then share a full bathroom that is between their rooms. I pondered putting them in a room together, but I decided not to do that. Not sure why ... and I continue to question my decision since I know Addison is used to sleeping in a room with others ... and Lord knows Payton likes to sleep with other people too. So we'll see how that pans out. LOL.
I remember you mentioned something about Addison's mom or some relative that was getting the news that she was going to be adopted ... what happened with that? Did you find out more about her family or anything else?
Yes ... the social worker met with the birth mother the week after our first trip to get paperwork from her. They told the birth mother that we wanted to adopt Addison and the birth mother was fine with it. She and the birth father (her husband) had released their rights to Addison when she was about one month old ... because she has Down syndrome, of course. From what I was told, members of the extended family also have to release the child, so that is what they were waiting on ... the biological aunt of Addison had to write a letter releasing her as well. I suppose they get letters from the entire family (i.e. aunts, uncles, grandparents) because their first preference would be that Addison live with them if the birth parents did not want the child. In Addison's case, the entire family released their rights to her ... most likely because she has Down syndrome. She was never visited by any family member during her stay at the baby home.
We did ask if we might be able to get a picture of Addison's birth mother to have to show her when she gets older if she wants to see it, but the birth mother rejected our request ... which we pretty much expected to happen. We do have the names of Addison's birth parents, but that is pretty much it.
Also, as far as Russian government records go, the original birth certificate reflecting the names of the birth parents is destroyed when a child is adopted and it is replaced with the new birth certificate reflecting the names of the adoptive parents. So we have a birth certificate for Addison with our names on it, as well as an adoption certificate with our names on it. Essentially any record that ties her to her birth parents is destroyed. I was surprised to learn that, but what do I know? LOL.
I was wondering how big she is in comparison to Payton? They look very close in size, will they wear they same size clothing or is Addison fitting in P's hand-me-downs?
Addison is a little smaller than Payton ... Addison is about 28 pounds and Payton is about 32 pounds and a few inches taller. Addison definitely needs a 2T in pants and either a 2T or 3T in shirts ... Payton is a 3T in pants and either a 3T or 4T in shirts ... gotta fit those buddha bellies! So yes, Payton's clothes will come in very handy for Addison ... that is what she is wearing now, in fact!
Here's a question ... who's your favorite twin? Also, a question for Kyle .... was the beer good?
Hahaha McKenna ... my favorite twin would be ... McKenna! And Kyle says, "Yes, it was ochen facusna." That is a phonetic spelling for delicious. LOL. He thinks he is so smart.
My big question is, how tempted are you to bring them ALL home with you?!
I know, it is very hard. I think I would have had a much harder time with this is if we had adopted from a baby home that was not as good as Addison's. Nonetheless ... whether they are in a good baby home or not, most of the kids do not have parents. Some have parents that visit them, which renders them unavailable for adoption ... and that breaks my heart even more. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that these parents choose not to (or cannot) raise their children, yet as long as they visit the child (perhaps once a month, sometimes less ... sometimes more), the child cannot be adopted.
So ... the best thing for me to do at this point, since I can't bring them all home, is to advocate for others to adopt! :)
Are you concerned about Addison's sleeping schedule once you leave Russia? Have you been given any tips or tricks to help get her acclimated?
I'm not necessarily concerned ... she will have to adjust just as we will. She is a very good sleeper ... I hope she adjusts okay, but no ... I haven't been given any tips to get her acclimated, other than just transitioning her into her new schedule. I'm sure we are all going to be exhausted for a few days!
Have you been given advice or what have you done in prepping Mason and Payton for bringing Addison home. I'm sure you're sharing everything with them that they can understand but I was curious if you've been given advice on how to help them assimilate to having a new sister and vice versa. It's probably some of the same growing pains that any family goes through when you bring a new baby home but I'm curious if you've been given any advice or tips?
Mason definitely understands everything ... Payton, not so much. After we decided we were going to adopt, we bought a couple children's books for the kids. The books are great at telling stories about orphans and adoption. That was an easy way to explain to Mason that not all kids like him have mommies and daddies that can take care of them. We showed him a picture of Addison and told him that she did not have a mommy and daddy that was able to take care of her. He immediately said, "Well, how about if you be her mommy, and daddy can be her daddy, and I'll be her brother and Chicky can be her sister." I'm not kidding ... this was after reading the books about adoption and he received no prompting from us ... in fact, I think this was our very first discussion with him about our plans to adopt. He is an amazing kid. :) He is very excited to have another baby sister and everything lately has become about when "Baby Addison" comes home. He will wear his new pajamas when Baby Addison comes home; he will start using his new Batman bedding when Baby Addison comes home; and so on. So cute.
I think Payton will be excited as well. She loves kids that are smaller than her and she is excellent with them. Prior to us coming to Russia, she saw Addison's picture and use to kiss it and sign "baby". She also has seen Addison on skype (video cam) since we have been here and they talk and wave to each other.
Splitting our time equally between the kids will be the biggest, and most important, challenge. :)
How close are the girls in age?
They are 9 1/2 months apart.
Were you able to get any pictures of Addison from the baby home? That is one thing I wish I would have asked for!
Yes, we did! They gave us maybe four of five pictures from when she was younger, plus we have the picture that was in the MOE databank.
Are you worried about Addison's ability to communicate and learn language skills given that she now is faced with trying to understand a new language? Does she attempt to say any words in Russian yet?
It definitely is a concern, but the benefits of her being adopted pretty much outweighs that concern. This is something that comes with all adoptions. Being as though she just turned two, and she has Down syndrome, her expressive language in Russian is pretty much non-existent. Her receptive language in Russian, however, is extensive. That is why we have picked up a language course that teaches you common phrases that you would need when adopting a child ... that has been VERY helpful.
As far as learning English, they says kids that are young and adopted are very resilient and I know she is already understanding some stuff in English. We are trying to say the phrase in Russian (as much as we know, at least) and then we repeat it in English. We are also using sign language to a certain extent.
Kids who have Down syndrome have language delays no matter what, so even if Addison had been born in the U.S., I wouldn't expect her to have extensive expressive language by this point anyway. We'll get there! :)
I'm wondering if anyone has any questions like that about our adoption, Down syndrome or anything else that I can answer? Anything {well most anything} is game ... just leave a comment on this blog post and feel free to do it anonymously if you like. :) C'mon ... don't be shy ... I know some of you want to know more! LOL.
Okay, here we go!
Okay, here's a pretty superficial one, but one I'm curious about regardless . . . We have court next week. Do I bring along some dress shoes, or can I wear my dress boots that I will have on for the weather?
I would say you would be fine with your dress boots (if they are leather ... which I assume they are since you called them DRESS boots), considering that is what EVERYONE here wears every day of the week. They wear dress boots with jeans, skirts, whatever. They told us that they preferred the women wear skirts to court, so maybe bring your dress boots with a modest skirt. Hope this helps!
Are you having/adopting more kids?
Although our hands are full for now, I do see us trying to have at least one more typical child. Who knows, Payton sort of changed our plans as far as kids are concerned. Before her, I would have been happy with just two kids. Now, I feel like the bigger the family, the better. I really would like Payton and Addison to grow up with lots of siblings that love them unconditionally ... big families are fun for everyone involved, right?!
Given your fertility "fun", was adoption ever a consideration before you had Mason and Payton?
You know me so well, Courtney! To fill everyone else in, yes ... we had problems getting pregnant with our biological kids. After three years of failure, we ending up conceiving through in vetro fertilization (IVF) with both of them. And yes, while we were trying to get pregnant, I thought about adoption a lot and I used to look at photo listings a lot ... so I think adoption has always been something that has been on my mind.
Do you truly feel just as connected to this GORGEOUS baby girl as you do to your other two amazing kids?
This is a really hard question ... and in fact it is the one thing that I think scares people when they adopt. You do wonder if you will love this child like you love your biological children ... although I wondered that during my second pregnancy too. I didn't know if I could love another child like I loved Mason, and of course we all know now that I love Payton so much my heart hurts!
We really do have an amazing connection with Addison and I think the fact that she is SO MUCH like Payton has a lot to do with it. I am totally in love with her ... is the depth of that love as deep as it is for my other two kids? I would say probably NOT YET, but it takes time to develop that depth of love and I know it will be the same for Addison. It is the same as a mother's love growing over time for her biological child ... the love you have for that child on the day he or she is born is not the same depth of love that you have for that child as time goes on and your bond becomes deeper. I actually can say that I am surprised at how deep the love we have for Addison is after only having spent a handful of days with her. She is already making us SO proud and we feel SO blessed to have found her.
When you adopt a child, the momma bear sort of takes over. Here you are given this child that has no family, no mommy or daddy that wants her, no siblings to play with. Being able to give that to a child is an amazing feeling ... and I think the bond that comes with that is amazing. I would do anything for Addison that I would do for my other two kids and I believe she will mesh perfectly into our family. ;-)
I don't know how many rooms you have in your house, but how are the kids rooms set up? The girls together, then mason, or every man for himself?
We have four bedrooms upstairs, one of which is a "guest suite" with a sitting area and its own full bathroom. Mason will be moving into that room ... we figured he is the oldest and the only boy at this point, so he wins. The girls will each get their own bedroom and then share a full bathroom that is between their rooms. I pondered putting them in a room together, but I decided not to do that. Not sure why ... and I continue to question my decision since I know Addison is used to sleeping in a room with others ... and Lord knows Payton likes to sleep with other people too. So we'll see how that pans out. LOL.
I remember you mentioned something about Addison's mom or some relative that was getting the news that she was going to be adopted ... what happened with that? Did you find out more about her family or anything else?
Yes ... the social worker met with the birth mother the week after our first trip to get paperwork from her. They told the birth mother that we wanted to adopt Addison and the birth mother was fine with it. She and the birth father (her husband) had released their rights to Addison when she was about one month old ... because she has Down syndrome, of course. From what I was told, members of the extended family also have to release the child, so that is what they were waiting on ... the biological aunt of Addison had to write a letter releasing her as well. I suppose they get letters from the entire family (i.e. aunts, uncles, grandparents) because their first preference would be that Addison live with them if the birth parents did not want the child. In Addison's case, the entire family released their rights to her ... most likely because she has Down syndrome. She was never visited by any family member during her stay at the baby home.
We did ask if we might be able to get a picture of Addison's birth mother to have to show her when she gets older if she wants to see it, but the birth mother rejected our request ... which we pretty much expected to happen. We do have the names of Addison's birth parents, but that is pretty much it.
Also, as far as Russian government records go, the original birth certificate reflecting the names of the birth parents is destroyed when a child is adopted and it is replaced with the new birth certificate reflecting the names of the adoptive parents. So we have a birth certificate for Addison with our names on it, as well as an adoption certificate with our names on it. Essentially any record that ties her to her birth parents is destroyed. I was surprised to learn that, but what do I know? LOL.
I was wondering how big she is in comparison to Payton? They look very close in size, will they wear they same size clothing or is Addison fitting in P's hand-me-downs?
Addison is a little smaller than Payton ... Addison is about 28 pounds and Payton is about 32 pounds and a few inches taller. Addison definitely needs a 2T in pants and either a 2T or 3T in shirts ... Payton is a 3T in pants and either a 3T or 4T in shirts ... gotta fit those buddha bellies! So yes, Payton's clothes will come in very handy for Addison ... that is what she is wearing now, in fact!
Here's a question ... who's your favorite twin? Also, a question for Kyle .... was the beer good?
Hahaha McKenna ... my favorite twin would be ... McKenna! And Kyle says, "Yes, it was ochen facusna." That is a phonetic spelling for delicious. LOL. He thinks he is so smart.
My big question is, how tempted are you to bring them ALL home with you?!
I know, it is very hard. I think I would have had a much harder time with this is if we had adopted from a baby home that was not as good as Addison's. Nonetheless ... whether they are in a good baby home or not, most of the kids do not have parents. Some have parents that visit them, which renders them unavailable for adoption ... and that breaks my heart even more. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that these parents choose not to (or cannot) raise their children, yet as long as they visit the child (perhaps once a month, sometimes less ... sometimes more), the child cannot be adopted.
So ... the best thing for me to do at this point, since I can't bring them all home, is to advocate for others to adopt! :)
Are you concerned about Addison's sleeping schedule once you leave Russia? Have you been given any tips or tricks to help get her acclimated?
I'm not necessarily concerned ... she will have to adjust just as we will. She is a very good sleeper ... I hope she adjusts okay, but no ... I haven't been given any tips to get her acclimated, other than just transitioning her into her new schedule. I'm sure we are all going to be exhausted for a few days!
Have you been given advice or what have you done in prepping Mason and Payton for bringing Addison home. I'm sure you're sharing everything with them that they can understand but I was curious if you've been given advice on how to help them assimilate to having a new sister and vice versa. It's probably some of the same growing pains that any family goes through when you bring a new baby home but I'm curious if you've been given any advice or tips?
Mason definitely understands everything ... Payton, not so much. After we decided we were going to adopt, we bought a couple children's books for the kids. The books are great at telling stories about orphans and adoption. That was an easy way to explain to Mason that not all kids like him have mommies and daddies that can take care of them. We showed him a picture of Addison and told him that she did not have a mommy and daddy that was able to take care of her. He immediately said, "Well, how about if you be her mommy, and daddy can be her daddy, and I'll be her brother and Chicky can be her sister." I'm not kidding ... this was after reading the books about adoption and he received no prompting from us ... in fact, I think this was our very first discussion with him about our plans to adopt. He is an amazing kid. :) He is very excited to have another baby sister and everything lately has become about when "Baby Addison" comes home. He will wear his new pajamas when Baby Addison comes home; he will start using his new Batman bedding when Baby Addison comes home; and so on. So cute.
I think Payton will be excited as well. She loves kids that are smaller than her and she is excellent with them. Prior to us coming to Russia, she saw Addison's picture and use to kiss it and sign "baby". She also has seen Addison on skype (video cam) since we have been here and they talk and wave to each other.
Splitting our time equally between the kids will be the biggest, and most important, challenge. :)
How close are the girls in age?
They are 9 1/2 months apart.
Were you able to get any pictures of Addison from the baby home? That is one thing I wish I would have asked for!
Yes, we did! They gave us maybe four of five pictures from when she was younger, plus we have the picture that was in the MOE databank.
Are you worried about Addison's ability to communicate and learn language skills given that she now is faced with trying to understand a new language? Does she attempt to say any words in Russian yet?
It definitely is a concern, but the benefits of her being adopted pretty much outweighs that concern. This is something that comes with all adoptions. Being as though she just turned two, and she has Down syndrome, her expressive language in Russian is pretty much non-existent. Her receptive language in Russian, however, is extensive. That is why we have picked up a language course that teaches you common phrases that you would need when adopting a child ... that has been VERY helpful.
As far as learning English, they says kids that are young and adopted are very resilient and I know she is already understanding some stuff in English. We are trying to say the phrase in Russian (as much as we know, at least) and then we repeat it in English. We are also using sign language to a certain extent.
Kids who have Down syndrome have language delays no matter what, so even if Addison had been born in the U.S., I wouldn't expect her to have extensive expressive language by this point anyway. We'll get there! :)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Playtime with Sasha
If you have been following our blog, you have heard me talk about the other family that we are traveling with. They adopted Sasha, a little boy from Addison's grouppa. Sasha is almost four years old and come his birthday in March, he would have been transferred out of the baby home to a home for older children. Thankfully he was adopted before that happened.
Since Sasha is a little older, he is more aware of what is going on than Addison is. He really enjoys spending time with Nika and she gets pretty excited to see him too, so we have tried to get the two of them together as much as we can. Last night they had fun playing together in the playroom at our hotel ...
We are lucky to live only about 10 - 15 miles from Sasha's new family, so hopefully we will be able to get the kids together from time to time. We are so thankful to them, as they have been extremely supportive of us throughout this entire process ... so from the bottom of our hearts ... THANK YOU!
Since Sasha is a little older, he is more aware of what is going on than Addison is. He really enjoys spending time with Nika and she gets pretty excited to see him too, so we have tried to get the two of them together as much as we can. Last night they had fun playing together in the playroom at our hotel ...
We are lucky to live only about 10 - 15 miles from Sasha's new family, so hopefully we will be able to get the kids together from time to time. We are so thankful to them, as they have been extremely supportive of us throughout this entire process ... so from the bottom of our hearts ... THANK YOU!
We've got her visa!
We just returned from the U.S. Embassy here in Moscow. Addison's visa was approved and issued! It was fun to see all the other families that are here adopting ... I think there were maybe seven or eight of us here to get visas for our kids. Most of the other families adopted from rural regions, so it was interesting to talk to them and hear how different the baby homes are in the rural areas. We definitely got lucky with Addison's baby home.
So tomorrow is our last day here ... we can't wait to be home and to see our other kids. It gets harder and harder having to talk to them on video everyday ... I just want to smother them with kisses!
So tomorrow is our last day here ... we can't wait to be home and to see our other kids. It gets harder and harder having to talk to them on video everyday ... I just want to smother them with kisses!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I think she is beginning to trust us ...
Kids who spend the first part of their lives in baby homes typically develop a certain degree of self-soothing behavior. Even though Addison came from a really great baby home and even though the caretaker to child ratio was fairly low, I believe it is inevitable that the kids will create alternative ways to cope. It can be anything, from sucking their thumb to rocking themselves to pulling their hair out (which I never saw at Addison's baby home ... just to be clear).
I know I've said before that Addison sucks on her two fingers ... and that is totally fine. Lots of kids suck on their fingers or suck their thumbs. Not a big deal. Do I believe it is one way that Addison copes with stressful situations? Yes, I do.
A few times since we picked Addison up from the baby home, I have caught her sort of rocking while she sucks on her fingers. I haven't really figured out if she is just playing ... or if she is soothing herself. I really am not trying to kid myself ... I do think this is one of her soothing behaviors. She is in no way obsessive about it and she is very easily distracted. We can curb the behavior by talking to her or picking her up ... it is that minimal, but alas it is there. I think I only saw her do it once today, so hopefully this will disappear quickly as she learns to trust us and depend on us.
I definitely have noticed some changes in Addison today ... I can tell she is trusting us on a deeper level. Some of the things I noticed today are ...
*Addison has been sleeping in a pack and play right next to our bed. Prior to today, she would just sit up and remain quiet when she woke up. Today, every time she woke up she cried for us to come get her. This tells me that she has learned that if she cries, we will respond to her immediately. The only time she has cried prior to today has been when we have given her a bath ... she doesn't like the water on her head.
*Another example of her crying for us to soothe her ... she was playing with Kyle's belt and the buckle hit her when she didn't expect it. She cried ... I'm not sure that it even really hurt her, it was just a large, metal buckle that she didn't realize would do whatever it was that it did. LOL. So I went to her, picked her up and told her it was okay ... and she immediately calmed down. This might seem so silly to everyone, but a good way to prove this is to tell you that yesterday, she accidentally hit her eye on a plate (the plate was on the bed ... she was eating fries off of the plate ... and she threw her head forward, hitting her eye on the plate) and she didn't even cry ... it barely phased her, even though it left a small mark. If that had happened now, I think she would probably cry. Crazy how things change in such a short period of time.
*After crying to get our attention when she is in her pack and play, she raises her arms up for us to pick her up. Up until today, she hasn't really initiated having us pick her up. I'm so happy that we are on the right track to getting her to initiate this ... she needs to know that she can come to us to be soothed, and I think she is catching on quickly.
These are just a couple examples of how I can tell she is starting to trust us. These things might sound so silly to everyone, but they are very real and important things that adoptive families have to deal with. The things we are dealing with are very minimal, but some families have very extensive issues to deal with and that can be hard.
So that is my story for today ... LOL.
I know I've said before that Addison sucks on her two fingers ... and that is totally fine. Lots of kids suck on their fingers or suck their thumbs. Not a big deal. Do I believe it is one way that Addison copes with stressful situations? Yes, I do.
A few times since we picked Addison up from the baby home, I have caught her sort of rocking while she sucks on her fingers. I haven't really figured out if she is just playing ... or if she is soothing herself. I really am not trying to kid myself ... I do think this is one of her soothing behaviors. She is in no way obsessive about it and she is very easily distracted. We can curb the behavior by talking to her or picking her up ... it is that minimal, but alas it is there. I think I only saw her do it once today, so hopefully this will disappear quickly as she learns to trust us and depend on us.
I definitely have noticed some changes in Addison today ... I can tell she is trusting us on a deeper level. Some of the things I noticed today are ...
*Addison has been sleeping in a pack and play right next to our bed. Prior to today, she would just sit up and remain quiet when she woke up. Today, every time she woke up she cried for us to come get her. This tells me that she has learned that if she cries, we will respond to her immediately. The only time she has cried prior to today has been when we have given her a bath ... she doesn't like the water on her head.
*Another example of her crying for us to soothe her ... she was playing with Kyle's belt and the buckle hit her when she didn't expect it. She cried ... I'm not sure that it even really hurt her, it was just a large, metal buckle that she didn't realize would do whatever it was that it did. LOL. So I went to her, picked her up and told her it was okay ... and she immediately calmed down. This might seem so silly to everyone, but a good way to prove this is to tell you that yesterday, she accidentally hit her eye on a plate (the plate was on the bed ... she was eating fries off of the plate ... and she threw her head forward, hitting her eye on the plate) and she didn't even cry ... it barely phased her, even though it left a small mark. If that had happened now, I think she would probably cry. Crazy how things change in such a short period of time.
*After crying to get our attention when she is in her pack and play, she raises her arms up for us to pick her up. Up until today, she hasn't really initiated having us pick her up. I'm so happy that we are on the right track to getting her to initiate this ... she needs to know that she can come to us to be soothed, and I think she is catching on quickly.
These are just a couple examples of how I can tell she is starting to trust us. These things might sound so silly to everyone, but they are very real and important things that adoptive families have to deal with. The things we are dealing with are very minimal, but some families have very extensive issues to deal with and that can be hard.
So that is my story for today ... LOL.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Venturing Out
This evening, we ventured out with the other family that is here adopting. We walked over to Old Arbat to go to the Hard Rock Cafe, but after sort of getting the run around by two different hostesses, we were told there were no tables. LOL. There actually were tons of tables available, but they claimed they were all reserved.
Moving on to My My, a buffet that has a cow out front (that is my marker ... LOL). It was very smoky and we couldn't find a table there either, so we left.
Sbarro it is! LOL. We just wanted a place to be able to sit, eat and talk ... and we got it at Sbarro. The other family's little boy, Sasha, has been asking for Nika, so we were happy to get them together. Sasha seems to be adjusting better and better as the minutes go bye. There are still certain things that trigger grouppa memories for him and he gets sad, but on the whole I'd say he is doing great. We are getting together tonight to play in the children's room here at our hotel, so that should be fun. :)
Nika, on the other hand, is doing great. She is doing great with her walking ... she is initiating walking on her own more and more, and she even has done 180 degree turns while standing and then stepping, which is a big step in physical therapy. She is so stinkin cute! Here is a picture taken after we got home from dinner tonight ...
Moving on to My My, a buffet that has a cow out front (that is my marker ... LOL). It was very smoky and we couldn't find a table there either, so we left.
Sbarro it is! LOL. We just wanted a place to be able to sit, eat and talk ... and we got it at Sbarro. The other family's little boy, Sasha, has been asking for Nika, so we were happy to get them together. Sasha seems to be adjusting better and better as the minutes go bye. There are still certain things that trigger grouppa memories for him and he gets sad, but on the whole I'd say he is doing great. We are getting together tonight to play in the children's room here at our hotel, so that should be fun. :)
Nika, on the other hand, is doing great. She is doing great with her walking ... she is initiating walking on her own more and more, and she even has done 180 degree turns while standing and then stepping, which is a big step in physical therapy. She is so stinkin cute! Here is a picture taken after we got home from dinner tonight ...
Q & A
'Nika' is all bundled up! How cold is it?
Right now it is 35 degrees outside. At home, my kids don't wear snow pants unless we got out to play in the snow. Here in Russia, they bundle their kids and so we did too just to fit in. Technically, since we are out walking outside, I'd probably bundle her like this even at home in 35 degree weather. However, they bundle their kids like this even when it is like 50 degrees ... much different than what we do in the U.S.
How are you "renaming" her. As in ... what approach are you taking to teach her her new name, etc. I am just really curious how that works.
Aren't you just dying to get all three of the kids together?!?!?!
Ummm, yes! LOL. We have been talking with the kids using Skype (a video and chatting service), so they have seen Addison. When Mason saw her for the first time on video, he said, "Aww ... she is so cute!" They have waved to each other on video too ... so cute. So yes, we are very anxious to get home so the kids can be together.
It will be interesting to see how she takes to American food!
She definitely loves food in general. The minute she sees it, she reaches out for us to feed her. She has the buddha belly of all buddha bellies, that is for sure! LOL. We brought some Gerber baby food that we have mixed with multi grain baby cereal and she has liked all of it. We also bought some bananas and yogurt, which she loves. We haven't really eaten in a restaurant setting with her yet, so we will see how that goes tonight. Her caregivers let us observe her eating before we took her for good ... they had vegetable/beef soup and then some sort of meat and potato meal. She ate the soup and ate the potatoes, but the meat she pretty much spit out as far as I could tell.
The kids in the baby home also drink out of tea cups, although she sort of just slops it all around and half of it ends up back in the cup. She has no clue what a sippy cup is ... we are using the sippy while we are on the road, but we give her an open cup sometimes too. She is doing good with the sippy though ... she drinks half the time and chews on the soft plastic half the time ...
How old is she again?
She just turned two years old less than a month ago ... we just missed being able to spend her birthday with her ...
When do you actually get to go home?
We leave Moscow on Wednesday and will be home the same day since we gain eight hours going back ...
I think you guys have a record for a speedy adoption. How long was it from start to finish?
Things have gone quick for us, thank God! We started the paperwork in May 2008 ... I think our process went quicker than normal because we adopted a child with Down syndrome ... there aren't many people on the list in Russia for wanting a child with Down syndrome. Pretty much I think there was no list. LOL. Anyone want to get on the list? ;)
Isn't the court translator just a hoot?
Yes, she was hysterical! And speaking of ... some of you wanted to see Kyle's hair, since she thought is was so nice ... cracks me up ... really, it is just a normal hair style, which is why is was so funny! Introducing ... Kyle's hair (sorry, I don't have a picture of just him and his hair) ...
So I thought of you guys and then I thought about how picky of an eater you are Bethany and wondered what is Addison used to eating?
Hahaha ... don't give away my secrets! Addison is used to eating mostly meat, fruits and vegetables. Times are gonna be changing at our house! LOL ... for her, anyway!
If I may ask . . . did you have to get a medical exam in Russia?
I'm not sure if you are referring to our medical exam or Addison's, so I'll answer for both. :)
We were able to do our medicals in the U.S. ... our judge did not require that it be done in Russia. For those of you unaware, every person that adopts has to have an eight-doctor medical exam done ... some judges require it to be done in Russia, others allow it to be done in the U.S. Thank God we were able to do it at home because it is much cheaper than having it done in Russia!
As for Addison, yes ... we had to have a medical exam done on her here in Moscow. It was easy and harmless.
Right now it is 35 degrees outside. At home, my kids don't wear snow pants unless we got out to play in the snow. Here in Russia, they bundle their kids and so we did too just to fit in. Technically, since we are out walking outside, I'd probably bundle her like this even at home in 35 degree weather. However, they bundle their kids like this even when it is like 50 degrees ... much different than what we do in the U.S.
How are you "renaming" her. As in ... what approach are you taking to teach her her new name, etc. I am just really curious how that works.
Her Russian name (minus her last name) is Shoshina Veronika, although we were told by our translator here in Moscow that Shoshina is actually her last name, so now we are really confused. LOL. We have been told all along that Shoshina was her first name, so we need to check on that. Anyway, we believe Veronika is her middle name, either way. So her new name is Addison Veronika. At the Baby Home, they called her Veronika, or Nika for short. So we are using Nika for her nickname and that is what we have been calling her since that is all she knows. At some point, we will introduce the name Addison, but I'm not sure yet when or how. Any suggestions from other adoptive parents that have been through this?
Are there other kids with ds at Addison's baby home? Sounds like a very caring place.
Yes, there are other kids with Down syndrome at her Baby Home. I got to interact with one little boy, who was in her grouppa, and he is also doing very well. He reminds me so much of a little boy that I know, Daniel (Lisa ... yes I'm talking about your Daniel).
Not all kids in the Baby Home are available for adoption ... if they have a family member that visits them and if the family has not released the child, they are not eligible to be adopted, even though they are living in the Baby Home and even though the family member (who may not even be the mother) only visits once a month.
If you anyone is interested in adopting a child with Down syndrome, email me privately and I will try to help you. You just never know until you contact an agency to see if they could help you try to find a child that is perfect for your family. There is an international photo listing on the web of children available for adoption in Russia, however I think it is intended to be a photo listing for Russians and I'm told it cannot be considered accurate for international adoption, although I did see our daughter on the photo listing, so take it for what it is worth.
Are there other kids with ds at Addison's baby home? Sounds like a very caring place.
Yes, there are other kids with Down syndrome at her Baby Home. I got to interact with one little boy, who was in her grouppa, and he is also doing very well. He reminds me so much of a little boy that I know, Daniel (Lisa ... yes I'm talking about your Daniel).
Not all kids in the Baby Home are available for adoption ... if they have a family member that visits them and if the family has not released the child, they are not eligible to be adopted, even though they are living in the Baby Home and even though the family member (who may not even be the mother) only visits once a month.
If you anyone is interested in adopting a child with Down syndrome, email me privately and I will try to help you. You just never know until you contact an agency to see if they could help you try to find a child that is perfect for your family. There is an international photo listing on the web of children available for adoption in Russia, however I think it is intended to be a photo listing for Russians and I'm told it cannot be considered accurate for international adoption, although I did see our daughter on the photo listing, so take it for what it is worth.
Aren't you just dying to get all three of the kids together?!?!?!
Ummm, yes! LOL. We have been talking with the kids using Skype (a video and chatting service), so they have seen Addison. When Mason saw her for the first time on video, he said, "Aww ... she is so cute!" They have waved to each other on video too ... so cute. So yes, we are very anxious to get home so the kids can be together.
It will be interesting to see how she takes to American food!
She definitely loves food in general. The minute she sees it, she reaches out for us to feed her. She has the buddha belly of all buddha bellies, that is for sure! LOL. We brought some Gerber baby food that we have mixed with multi grain baby cereal and she has liked all of it. We also bought some bananas and yogurt, which she loves. We haven't really eaten in a restaurant setting with her yet, so we will see how that goes tonight. Her caregivers let us observe her eating before we took her for good ... they had vegetable/beef soup and then some sort of meat and potato meal. She ate the soup and ate the potatoes, but the meat she pretty much spit out as far as I could tell.
The kids in the baby home also drink out of tea cups, although she sort of just slops it all around and half of it ends up back in the cup. She has no clue what a sippy cup is ... we are using the sippy while we are on the road, but we give her an open cup sometimes too. She is doing good with the sippy though ... she drinks half the time and chews on the soft plastic half the time ...
How old is she again?She just turned two years old less than a month ago ... we just missed being able to spend her birthday with her ...
When do you actually get to go home?
We leave Moscow on Wednesday and will be home the same day since we gain eight hours going back ...
I think you guys have a record for a speedy adoption. How long was it from start to finish?
Things have gone quick for us, thank God! We started the paperwork in May 2008 ... I think our process went quicker than normal because we adopted a child with Down syndrome ... there aren't many people on the list in Russia for wanting a child with Down syndrome. Pretty much I think there was no list. LOL. Anyone want to get on the list? ;)
Isn't the court translator just a hoot?
Yes, she was hysterical! And speaking of ... some of you wanted to see Kyle's hair, since she thought is was so nice ... cracks me up ... really, it is just a normal hair style, which is why is was so funny! Introducing ... Kyle's hair (sorry, I don't have a picture of just him and his hair) ...
So I thought of you guys and then I thought about how picky of an eater you are Bethany and wondered what is Addison used to eating?
Hahaha ... don't give away my secrets! Addison is used to eating mostly meat, fruits and vegetables. Times are gonna be changing at our house! LOL ... for her, anyway!
If I may ask . . . did you have to get a medical exam in Russia?
I'm not sure if you are referring to our medical exam or Addison's, so I'll answer for both. :)
We were able to do our medicals in the U.S. ... our judge did not require that it be done in Russia. For those of you unaware, every person that adopts has to have an eight-doctor medical exam done ... some judges require it to be done in Russia, others allow it to be done in the U.S. Thank God we were able to do it at home because it is much cheaper than having it done in Russia!
As for Addison, yes ... we had to have a medical exam done on her here in Moscow. It was easy and harmless.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Headed for Moscow ...
Last night after picking Addison up from the baby home, we went back to our apartment to pack and play for a little bit. Our train didn't leave until 10:30 p.m. local time, so Addison fell asleep before we left.
She has done awesome since leaving the baby home ... we couldn't be happier. While she is a little unsure of what is going on, she is coming out of her shell quickly. She has only cried twice ... clearly she hates getting a bath and she also didn't like the Tylenol cold medicine that we gave her. She hasn't cried about anything else, so our transition thus far has been great.
The train ride was ... interesting. We had never been on a real train before, other than Amtrak, which I wouldn't even consider a real train. Addison woke up on the way to the train station and was happy as could be. Once we got to our train car, we played for a little bit before putting her back to bed. She is the easiest kid to get to sleep, by the way. Maybe our other two could learn a thing or two from her! Anyway, we knew our train arrived in Moscow at 6:00 a.m. local time, so we wanted to try to get some sleep.
And the hallway outside the rooms ...
Addison and I got more sleep than Kyle did. He couldn't sleep much, so he sat up listening to his iPod and making sure Addison didn't fall off the bed. I had been laying by her, but that didn't make for very comfortable arrangements, so he sat by her since he couldn't sleep.
We pulled into Moscow right on time and someone from our agency boarded the train to get us and the other family that is traveling with us. That was nice ... at least we didn't have to try to figure out where the heck to go! Once we were all loaded into our cars, we went directly to the medical facility so the kids could have their medical exams done at 7:00 a.m. ... we were told the doctor was coming just for us. I love the way things work here! The medical exams are required by the embassy so they know we are bringing healthy kids into the United States. Addison did great and she weighed in at a hefty 26 pounds. The doctor was very impressed with her, stating that she must have been a favorite at her baby home since her development is so good. We said that many times the kids are not doing as well as she is doing ... I think we pretty much owe that to the baby home and the research study that PITT is doing there.
After our medical appointment, we were told that we were done for the day. They dropped us off at our hotel (a Marriott) and we played for a little bit before taking a long nap. Our hotel is very nice and it is a welcome change after staying in an apartment for the past few days. I'm just happy to have such a nice bed to sleep in! LOL. We have a pack and play for Addison too, so we are set. Oh, and most of the staff speaks some English and we can even get American food for room service! Love this place! Now we are going to venture out into Moscow to see what we can find ... I will let you know what we find. :)
She has done awesome since leaving the baby home ... we couldn't be happier. While she is a little unsure of what is going on, she is coming out of her shell quickly. She has only cried twice ... clearly she hates getting a bath and she also didn't like the Tylenol cold medicine that we gave her. She hasn't cried about anything else, so our transition thus far has been great.The train ride was ... interesting. We had never been on a real train before, other than Amtrak, which I wouldn't even consider a real train. Addison woke up on the way to the train station and was happy as could be. Once we got to our train car, we played for a little bit before putting her back to bed. She is the easiest kid to get to sleep, by the way. Maybe our other two could learn a thing or two from her! Anyway, we knew our train arrived in Moscow at 6:00 a.m. local time, so we wanted to try to get some sleep.
Cheesy monkey playing ...
Here is our little room ...
And the hallway outside the rooms ...
Addison and I got more sleep than Kyle did. He couldn't sleep much, so he sat up listening to his iPod and making sure Addison didn't fall off the bed. I had been laying by her, but that didn't make for very comfortable arrangements, so he sat by her since he couldn't sleep.We pulled into Moscow right on time and someone from our agency boarded the train to get us and the other family that is traveling with us. That was nice ... at least we didn't have to try to figure out where the heck to go! Once we were all loaded into our cars, we went directly to the medical facility so the kids could have their medical exams done at 7:00 a.m. ... we were told the doctor was coming just for us. I love the way things work here! The medical exams are required by the embassy so they know we are bringing healthy kids into the United States. Addison did great and she weighed in at a hefty 26 pounds. The doctor was very impressed with her, stating that she must have been a favorite at her baby home since her development is so good. We said that many times the kids are not doing as well as she is doing ... I think we pretty much owe that to the baby home and the research study that PITT is doing there.
After our medical appointment, we were told that we were done for the day. They dropped us off at our hotel (a Marriott) and we played for a little bit before taking a long nap. Our hotel is very nice and it is a welcome change after staying in an apartment for the past few days. I'm just happy to have such a nice bed to sleep in! LOL. We have a pack and play for Addison too, so we are set. Oh, and most of the staff speaks some English and we can even get American food for room service! Love this place! Now we are going to venture out into Moscow to see what we can find ... I will let you know what we find. :)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Whew ... where do I start?!
Addison and her favorite caregiverHard for us to take Addison from the only place she knows.
Hard for us to take Addison from the only people she knows.
Hard for us to imagine how her caregivers must be feeling as they lose Addison from their care.
Hard for us to imagine how Addison will feel after leaving the baby home with these two crazy Americans talking another language and feeding her food she isn't used to.
We got to the baby home and met the director for the first time. She was so sweet and we gave her a gift that we bought for her. She was very grateful that we are adopting Addison and she essentially meant that if it weren't for us, then she may not have ever been adopted. I got teary eyed and then we went to visit the social worker to give her a gift, and she told us the same thing as the director and I got teary eyed again. Then we went up to Addison's grouppa (aka: her "family unit"). There were four caregivers there and yes, her favorite caregiver was there. We gave each of the caregivers gifts that we bought for them and they thanked us. Our translator told us that we could get Addison dressed in the clothes that we brought for her, so we did. Good grief ... that really made her look like Payton! LOL.
There is another family that we know that is adopting a little boy from Addison's grouppa. We had court the same day and they also had their 10-day waiting period waived, as their little boy has a heart defect. They had left the room to change him and all a sudden he came flying through the door to show his friends his new digs ... a Nike warm-up suit. It was so cute! He was so proud and so happy ... it was so fun to watch his reaction, since he is old enough to know what it means to have new things (he is almost four years old). That alone almost made me cry. LOL.
So both of our families joined the caregivers in another room and they were already crying. I lost it, Kyle lost it, our translator lost it ... we all just cried. How could you stand there and watch this and not lose it? Seriously. I know they are so happy that these kids now have families, but their hearts are also aching. I promised them that we would send lots of pictures so that they can rest assured that Addison is doing great and that she is in a great place. I know the "not knowing what happens" is the hardest part for them. It would be for me too.
Before we left, we let Addison's favorite caregiver have her time with her ... she was so sweet. She has given her entire soul to our child and I just hugged her and we cried. What a special lady.
It was time to say goodbye and all the caregivers were there. The one in red that is holding Addison is her favorite caregiver and the one to the left in green in the physical therapist that had told us she was giving Addison lots of massages ...
We are emotionally drained and we are headed for Moscow tonight ...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Her favorite caregiver
Yesterday we got to meet Addison's favorite caregiver. She must have been on vacation when we were there for our first trip, because I don't remember her. She is so sweet and Addison clearly adores her. She was singing nursery rhymes to Addison and she was totally doing all the motions to them ... I loved it!
Today our translator told us that the caregiver asked our translator this morning when we would be coming to take Addison for good. She said she couldn't handle it and didn't want to be there. She said she has been crying for days and she just doesn't want to be there. That makes me so sad! I almost feel guilty for taking her. I can't imagine the pain this caregiver is experiencing ... to have raised Addison for the first two years of her life, and now she will be gone to another country. It makes me teary eyed just thinking about it. I told our translator I was sad that we wouldn't see the caregiver because I really wanted to take a picture of her and Addison. I also wanted to video tape her singing the nursery rhymes to Addison so that I can play them for her when we get home. It turns out that we are picking Addison up at a different time than we originally thought, so we may end up seeing the caregiver tomorrow after all.
Either way, I told our translator that we would send plenty of pictures, as I know how much they love that. I'm sure it helps to see that the children are thriving in their new environments.
Today our translator told us that the caregiver asked our translator this morning when we would be coming to take Addison for good. She said she couldn't handle it and didn't want to be there. She said she has been crying for days and she just doesn't want to be there. That makes me so sad! I almost feel guilty for taking her. I can't imagine the pain this caregiver is experiencing ... to have raised Addison for the first two years of her life, and now she will be gone to another country. It makes me teary eyed just thinking about it. I told our translator I was sad that we wouldn't see the caregiver because I really wanted to take a picture of her and Addison. I also wanted to video tape her singing the nursery rhymes to Addison so that I can play them for her when we get home. It turns out that we are picking Addison up at a different time than we originally thought, so we may end up seeing the caregiver tomorrow after all.
Either way, I told our translator that we would send plenty of pictures, as I know how much they love that. I'm sure it helps to see that the children are thriving in their new environments.
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