Today has sort of been a rough day geting into the groove of things. I'm definitely anxious to get Nika on a schedule and I know this was a question that someone asked me in the Q&A. We went to bed last night around 8:30 p.m., which is 4:30 a.m. Russia time. Nika slept until about 6:00 a.m. (2:00 p.m. Russia time), which was better than I thought she would do. If any adoptive parents (or anyone else for that matter) have any good ideas on how to transition her into a sleep pattern, let me know. I'm pretty much winging it right now ... I'm not sure what else to do without totally screwing her up.
She has sort of been out of sorts today trying to take in her new environment. Our biggest hurdle seems to be getting her to accept affection from her brother and sister ... she is more tolerant of Mason, probably because he isn't completely in her face like Payton is. LOL. She does great when they are just playing and running around the house, but when it comes down to them touching her or trying to give her a kiss, she pushes them away ... and that really upsets Payton. So I'm looking for advice here too ... anyone else have a situation like this? How long did it take before the child got used to affection from other kids? Nika is a total cuddle bug and does fine with adults ... kids are the problem. I suppose she is used to fighting the other kids off at the baby home ... especially when it comes to toys or something like that.
We are working on playing closely with Nika and the other kids, so Nika can observe how we interact with the kids ... we are trying to model that behavior for her. So anyway, please let me know if you have any feedback. I know we are less than 24 hours into this, but it is very important for us to work on this. ;)
10 comments:
What the heck do I know?!?!! I've never done this, BUT, I do have a thought. Mason and Payton are on home territory, feeling very comfortable and excited about their new sisiter! Mason understands what is going on and HAS understood for some time. He had to wait while mommy and daddy went to get his little sister and NOW it's his turn and he's excited to share his love! And Payton, well, she's just plain excited! LOL But maybe, somehow, you'll have to get the kids to give Nika space. This is all NEW, NEW, NEW to her! I can only imagine how weird/overwhelming it must be! I think it's great you guys are playing with the kids and modeling!! Maybe Nika just needs to observe for a while.
You know, she might even be thinking, to some degree, okay this has been a lot of fun, but I'm ready to get back to 'normal'. And 'normal' will never be again. She needs to learn the new normal.
Like I said, WHAT do I know! All the other moms with adopted kids will surely be here with great advice soon!
BTW, as I was giving Aleena a bath tonight, I thought, "now that is a picture I'll be excited to see . . . Payton and Nika in the bathtub. Knowing Nika's love of the tub . . . that might be a while! LOL
Praying for all of you!
Hi, I've been following your blog ever since I linked to it from another blog. Anyway, the same EXACT thing happened to us when we got Ava home (our adopted daughter). It took time for her to realize the other kids were not a threat and also, the less she became a "novelty," the less my other kids wanted to touch and grab her.
Tara
Oh my word!
You just described the first 4 months my daughter was home from Russia. She would make this horrible grunting noise when the kids touched her. She wanted nothing to do with them, and especially not touch her. It was soooooo frustrating.
I wish I had a magic cure. It only went away after time. We still deal with it on occasion. She has started to talk a little bit and that has also helped.
You have a beautiful family!
Welcome home!
~amy
Welcome Home!
If you figure out something let me know! I thought maybe it was cause I have boys :)
You just described Aden to a T. He loves hugs, cuddles and kisses from us adults, but the moment his brother 5years or other children get too close he pushes them away.
So while it might be a part of the adoption experience, this is our child generally.
I’m interested in this now I’ll have to ask our OT what she thinks.
Could you set up a tent with pillows as an area were Nika can go to if she starts to feel overwhelmed. I was think about that when I read your post on how much space you have at your place. Closing off doors to make the main room seem smaller might also help.
The parents above have given some great advice already, but I thought I would leave my two cense anyways. As far as the sleeping goes, our son was a good sleeper in Russia and has ended up being a really good sleeper here as well. It only took him a couple of days to get over the time change. We just kept him on him a strict schedule, like they had there and he transitioned really well; he is still taking 2 hours naps and sleeping 10-11 hours at night at 3 1/2 years old. Our problem was he did not want to sleep in anything that resembled a crib, so it was a comfortable bed on the floor for a month or so. We finally got him a real toddler bed, which solved that problem.
As far as the other issue goes, my son just did not like his personal space violated by kids at all. As long as she is not hitting, headbutting or spitting in retaliation you are doing really good! With time, this will get better.
You have a beautiful family! Congratulations on bringing your daugher home and letting the real journey begin :)
Now that you have three kids will you be staying home full time or do you have to go back to work? I thought I'd read that you worked part-time, maybe?
I just got to thinking about your daily lives when you said you're working on getting Addison on a schedule.
I imagine your lives have gotten so much busier in the last 48 hours with three little ones!
Congratulations on bringing Nika home. reading your post Really helped me understand what huge changes these little ones for through, from baby homes on one side of the world to a home with a Mummy, Daddy brother and sister, different language… as wall as new environment cars, trains…. The list is endless lol.
Poor little bubba I’m sure she will settle in time. Gee my kids take a day or to if we have had a big shopping day.
I know your upset for Payton’s feelings, I’m sure things will get easier. Could you try to help Payton understand that she needs to give Nika some space? This little poppet Nika has had to make huge adjustments already, I just wonder if trying to get her to give up her space as well might be too much.
Love and hugs, it’s going to take a good length of time.
I'm sure this will just take time. The way i look at it is this: What if you were taken from your home and expected to love and feel for the people you were placed with. She just doesnt understand. Not the language, not the house, not the kids, not the adults, not the bed, the food, nothing. I'm sure she will be perfectly fine in time...it will just take that...Time.
I love her to pieces and don't even know her, so I'm sure it is hard for you to see the problems she is facing becoming adjusted. Just love her and comfort her, and she WILL come around. How could she not with a family like yours!
Love and Prayers!
Rachel
B-I love the pictures and am so happy everyone is home safe and sound! I just wanted to let you know with Nika and Payton, give them time. Try to explain to Payton how Nika needs a "bubble" around her and that she loves to color with you but is not ready for hugs. Jaceanna use to be alot more reserved then Jazmine and that was hard for Jazmine to understand. There are still days when they will hug and cuddle and days when neither want the other to even look at them. I'm even the same way sometimes-stay out of my bubble! Good luck and once again happy she's there and you both are going to have your hands full for a while!!! What a great growing experience for all of you.
Post a Comment